Lost in Txtlation

These are the cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind.

Category: Relations/Romance (page 1 of 3)

An investigation into a summer romance past.

I save many things. Old conversations. Photos. Etc. but today it paid off. It showed me an inside into why a relationship never happened. I was sitting here going… huh this doesn’t make sense by all intensive purposes we should be married, laughing on our porch during covid happy as can be.

  • We were patient with each other. 
  • We laughed at each other. 
  • We cooked for each other. 
  • We checked in on each other. 
  • Both our parents loved the other.

But turns out we just made a really good summer rom com since the first time we met. And weren’t meant for each other.

Our summers were filled with memories and love. Adventures and experiences.

But when the summers ended our lives took over our ability to dedicate time to each other. And it ended as quickly and as fast as it began.

It’s interesting how over time we forget the reasons things don’t work out in relationships. But we remember the good moments clear as day. Either way I know this person will be in my top 10 friendships of all time regardless of how it all turned out. And for that I am grateful.

We should have had the same beliefs prior to COVID.

Engagements & Marriages fill my Facebook/Instagram feeds. I wonder if pandemics cause a higher or lower divorce rate for making mortality based decisions…

According to WWII which can be considered similar mindsets, it indeed does increase the marriage and then subsequently the divorce rates.

See my thing is, why does it take a pandemic to put these things in perspective? That is exactly when I believe people will make decisions that are perhaps hit or miss. I knew prior to the pandemic I wanted to move out of the city to greener areas. I knew prior to the pandemic I wanted to love as hard as I worked. I knew prior to the pandemic that facetime was WAY better than texting for a first meeting on a dating app.

I want the person I love to have to known these things too. So we are on the same page… for the next pandemic.

I have learned things too, but mostly past mistakes or paths taken that may not have been the best choices but lead me to where I am now. But it also gave me time to accept those paths as my choices and to accept them and be happy with them! Solitude gives you a lot of self reflection time. That is good though, to a point haha. Gotta also look forward. But alas, always a minute too soon and an hour too late.

I think the most important thing here is that we as people realize the person we marry or get engaged to should have aligned with us PRIOR to COVID. And for those of us meeting during COVID, we are going to get a very quick look into the inner workings of one another as we are forced not to “play the field” but to focus on that person in front of us for a bit. Which in my eyes, is a good thing!

You can’t always be comfortable.

People are idiots when it comes to boundaries of their partners and understanding not EVERYONE is the same. Trust works differently for different people. And the best way to be a good PARTNER to your PARTNER is to understand their comfort and your comfort and meet in the middle of said comfort so everyone is comfortable. And then realize SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, you won’t be fucking comfortable!.

You make me too comfortable…

“I feel like we have been dating for years and I am so comfortable with you!”

But instead of going with the flow of life, I am going to project my own insecurities I have with commitment on your ability to just be someone who adapts to situations, enjoys calm, talks to new people as if they have been friends for years, and just take it a minute at a time.

Oddly enough the minute at a time makes people very comfortable or whatever other synonym.

“I feel so comfortable around you”

“It feels like we have known each other for much longer”

“This doesn’t feel like a first date” (whatever that means)

“You are so easy to talk to”

You get the point.

But while you think in your mind, cool I am not making this person freak out, it is actually making them freak out.

What you thought was a first drink and dinner has now turned into thanksgiving dinner with the entire family meeting them for the first time.

What you thought was a good night kiss, was actually a passionate kiss to wake the princess from her deep sleep.(fuck you Disney)

What you thought was a reaction from the kiss and night of fun that landed in your bedroom is actually Valentine’s day sex. (Pointless, but if you forget….. I digress)

What you thought was normal sit in the kitchen and drink coffee to wake up before you have to poop, was actually a discussion about moving in together.

So when they leave and you are sitting at home feeling as though that was a nice date. She was cool. Can’t wait to get to know her more so I see if we work out in the long run. Ya know, day to day experiences two people must have. I’ve spoken how time is the only real truth to love. They are freaking out, talking to their friends, replaying it all thinking about how you made them too comfortable and blaming it on “crazy girl mind”, while also completely cutting you out of the conversation. Maybe being hard on themselves because they slept with you? Maybe for “telling you too much”. I dunno. But def not just reminiscing on a good night.

And this is my short and simple explanation of why asshole guys finish first. Because those of us who don’t play games, don’t hide ourselves from person to person, and just enjoy the moments, make others too comfortable. Where is the excitement in that? I dunno maybe if we woulda had a second date we could have jumped out of a plane to find out, ha. Can’t have adventure without experience, can’t have experience without time. Can be comfortable with yourself enough to be comfortable with others without needing to look too far into it.

The “Romantic Spark” is Burning Your Chances

“I’m sorry I just didn’t feel the Romantic Spark”

This is what I was told just recently after asking if I could call someone I swiped on from an online dating site. I thought, let’s see if we can hold a conversation before we meet so make sure we don’t waste time at an awkward dinner or coffee meeting. If anything I wonder why more people don’t want to do this! It is a great way to weed out the weirdos! But that aside, we talked for about 20 minutes as she got ready to go to a class and was running around her house getting dressed and seemed kinda stressed. No biggie, nothing big was being talked about, it was just a general, “Hello, I am real, you are real, nice to hear your voice with inflection!”

The next day I texted to see if they wanted to grab a coffee and I got the response above.

I sat there for a moment, kinda dumbfounded. Is this how quickly people expect to find romance? To feel the “connection” to another human being that is multi faceted? Someone you never met, never smelled, never looked into their eyes? Never shared physical space with?

I was talking to my trainer about it this morning and I said, it is kind of like if someone came in for a session, worked out hard, and at the end of the session looked in the mirror and told him, “Yeah, I don’t see any results, this isn’t working.”

What the fuck has happened to us as human beings? Are we that addicted to the dopamine of the instant “click”, the “excitement of new people that if we don’t have the nearly 1 in a million experience of “love at first sight” (yes I was on the pilot for that show), that knowing we can keep swiping until we get our fix for it, we can just toss away the idea of anything that remotely resembles “getting to know someone” and “learning to love them for who they are, what they believe in, how we get along, and in person interactions experiences we have together”?

Shit if you want fireworks that badly at the first meeting, if you have iMessage I can send them right away!

Now there is the one obvious answer to all of this which is that people are just not strong enough to tell you the truth as to why they are not interested in you. So they make up a reason that they feel is the least intrusive. But seriously, in this case it’s OK to tell the truth. It is OK to answer a text with an unpopular answer. It is OK to tell someone what is on your mind. It is OK to be uncomfortable doing it as well! (I have talked about how we really need to start “getting hurt” again) So stop with the “I didn’t feel a romantic click” lines after texting someone for 10 seconds and just say “I don’t think we are compatible for X reason”. 99/100 times it will give everyone closure.

Mind you there are the crazies, but they don’t define the majority of us.

So please, just be honest. Shit I have gone on a date where I told the person when I met them in person, “I am sorry you don’t look like your photos and I feel a bit deceived, so I am going to head out, but thank you for coming to meet me regardless. Good luck!”

But to me I think it is a deeper problem. An addiction to the feeling of “new romance” the addiction to the massive exposure to so many people and the excitement of puppy love, that what is happening is people are no longer aware of how to actually build a foundation for a relationship. How love comes in time. How you can grow your love based on experiences and interactions together. How love doesn’t always have a set path or reason. How it isn’t a rush to the finish but a step at a time, enjoying the moments you get to spend with another human and allow them into your life, and to share yours with them. The love that comes from truly “falling in love” not pretending we are legos and “clicking” it all together.

So again, I am taken aback by the way we as a society are assimilating to what these dating sites tell us to do. How we should feel. How we should interact. Taking out more and more of the personalizations and adding more emojis, quick responses, canned responses, and cheesy “List your fav color for match percentages”. These dating sites have a business model. And if you actually form a long lasting relationship, guess which site doesn’t get paid? Think about that for a second. Now take those extra seconds and give people a chance with the extra time. Don’t take excitement and enthusiasm as bad signs, but use them to grow. Stop swiping just for a minute, figure out if we can create some moments together, and inspire each other! Then let that go wherever it may go, even if it ends up not working. One must be open to conversation and not afraid of debate as if it is confrontation. Opening yourself up for rejection to see if you truly understand the complexities of another person.

Hardest part though is this all starts with you. So yes perhaps there was another reason that text was sent, but from my experience, it is no longer the logical answer, but the illogical endorphin rush needed to make the tedious task of swiping and telling your favorite color over and over entertaining and feeling worthwhile, but at the expense of true connections.

The X Theory

To put it in metaphor, I’d say that oftentimes paths will cross, as Fate would have it, and that would be Instant Love; however, in order to keep this instant love, you must apply that conscious effort to pursue… because when paths cross, they will naturally meet at one point, the middle of an X {a cross- those physical, chemical, mental changes}, and then start going the opposite way, as is natural with growing and life changing. This is where the effort to pursue Love comes in… where people will take the time, effort, and energy to pave a new road together. Regardless of where those roads of Fate may lead. And the strength of that crossing point will help to determine if it will last or it will grow apart. Because we are on different timelines, but if when we meet the intersection was strong enough, it can bind us together even as time changes who we will be.

 

” Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.”

The Two Face Theory

There are two faces to every girl. The face you see when you come home from work, the face you see when you are covered in daily dirt, even the face you see when you cry. That is face one, the one. Now there is face two the one where you are so close. You are face to face, all blemishes to see, yet all I look for and hope you see the same in me, is to see a sparkle in your eye. I want to find that sparkle and have it last forever, I want to find that sparkle, not make it an endeavor, by this I don’t want the games to play, some drama here or there, is fun but maybe just today and tomorrow, and then a day off, sure it can be exciting I won’t deny that feat. The simple touch and connection I want to find, seemingly something you can find. So in this second face you and me, we will kiss and it will last, last and last, just because kissing is amazing to me, and in that second face to kiss with an eternity going by. The longer the better in my eyes. Sometimes to be slick the writer will say it lasted for the perfect moment, but want the moment to be more than just a moment, I want it to be the rest of my life.

Love is not enough.

Every one of my last relationships has ended because “love” was enough for them. “Love” is the beginning of opening up the rest of your life. It lifts the weight of trying to find the unattainable life goal so you can do other things magical with the love, the person you have found, and your life in general.

So why stay in a relationship defined by hopelessness, I am not a hopeless romantic, I am hopeful. Should you be “waiting” for the perfect moment? Is it like where you love your job but don’t know if it is where you want to be till the end, so you stick it out waiting to see what will happen in a few years time that may push you closer, further, or to a similar path? So should you be waiting or should you be fixing, actively, or is the waiting, part of the fixing. There is no black and white to any of this shit. It is what works for you or what pushes your brain to the edge of insanity allowing you to evolve to the place you need to be.

Tick Tock…

Time is really one of those strange unavoidable things, yet it has this enlightenment to it that can be absolutely stunning.

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You define love

I think love itself doesn’t know how it works. I believe each individual will find love based on their perception thus making it so indefinable yet with so many definitions.

I think simple and extravagant can mean the same thing when you are laying in the grass with the person you love staring at the stars sneaking a peak at one another.

And sometimes a moment becomes a memory right as it is happening, because it is so significant you want to capture it forever. And without these moments, these experiences, can you ever know how to love?

I have a different opinion on the “knowing yourself” before you can meet someone else. Albeit I respect who I am and don’t really have walls to life, and really am always me 24 / 7(with some help here and there to remember) but I thought a lot about that idea and I came up with, I believe we will find ourselves till the day we die because the days leading up to death define us, as well as the people we meet. So if we didn’t look while we were also finding ourselves it would be too late.

I think there are hallmark ways of going about it and also ways to be inquisitive while still respecting the boundaries as well as pushing the standards.

So you define love, when it can make you so confused. 🙂

Thinking of you…

I love my window because it has the fire escape on it and when I sit there looking out at the rusting metal with bits of black paint peeling from it, it clears my head. Something about it makes me feel good. And through that release from my own thoughts puts me into my thoughts even more.

The “Ex” game.

Why do we always have this inclination to go back with our ex’s. Is there something hardcoded into our brains to bring on the extra hurt? I mean don’t we get enough of that shit just on a daily basis from simpler things? We have to subject ourselves to our ex’s because our brains can’t retain the reasons and rationality to why we left in the first place. We seem to all suffer from short-term memory when it comes to this subject. I mean yes there is also the idea that it worked at one point so there will be some satisfaction for us, or the possibility that things have changed, but what do we usually break up over; the core of a person, not their daily quirks that are always going to change over time. So in essence we embark on something that is going to hurt one or both people again just to feel that relationships moments. Be it the comfort of “knowing each other” or the acceptance of flaws or perhaps the movie like atmosphere of all the bits pieced together.

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Even if it was just for a moment.

Even if it was just for a moment, I recently had everything the way I wanted it. And all cylinders of the brain were firing, all the right decisions were going to be made, and the future wasn’t even a concern.

Even if it was just for a moment.

It all started last night when I saw the outline of the TV, my kitties in my lap, and an affectionate head laid in that strange place without a proper name in between my neck and shoulder blade, the place that only a person can snuggle into filled with just that. On the table two glasses of Pinot Grigio contrasting on a dark wood coffee table, with a film of condensation frosting the glass, and on my legs stretched out relaxed two kitties dreaming away. That one outline could have made a painting or a shadow cutout or even the cover of a rental. And for that moment there was no worries of the future or decisions to be made. It was just a place to enjoy and stare at, the words of the movie jumbled by the simple perfection of an imperfect situation. It cleared my mind just long enough that when it ended my dreams followed with such a feeling of clarity. Continue reading

Ramblings – 02/15/2010

Lately I have felt a very deep pit in my stomach when I go to sleep. I feel very alone, and I think about those people I have had interest in or who you would call when you are feeling the need for affection and the problem is, I don’t see anything satisfactory coming from any of them.

That sounds terrible so let me try to explain this better. I suppose, in the last few months I have undergone some serious transformations and continue to embark on them. From my job to my personal hobbies to my emotional state to my physical state. It is actually amazing how polar opposite every aspect of my lifes journeys are right now and the people in it as well. It is like having multiple personalities but I don’t change just the people around me depending on what time of day.

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Holidays, oh holidays…

Holidays, oh holidays. I always wish I had someone to bring home to Mom and Dad to share with them. I always feel as though it would just be that much more fun to have to decide where and when we will visit the different families and how we will balance the need to be with each other and the need to see our families. Knowing at the end of the day, we will find that solace in each other, regardless of the craziness we are about to embark on through the long car rides during the day, which in turn is time we would spend with each other. The pre-planning which usually means we are committed to each other. Planning anything is advance is usually a no no for non relationships because it gives off the impression of wanting more than what is there. But I guess I just like to think in advance this season more than the rest of the year because I know that due to my broken up family and distance between us I will have to do it with myself so I am used to it. This makes me automatically start to do it with someone I am interested in.

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This feeling of the chase…

You can define love in many ways, from ideals to things you find exciting, to things that bring you comfort, or through endless notes on facebook, but there will always be something missing, 

I believe I have a sense of what that is. It may be the string which ties all your thoughts and ideas together, slowly weaving through them, attaching them to one another. Not a mythical string, but a actual experience based string, actually traveling through your life and that of another, together, not through monologues or explanations, but through lunch, or a phone call, or the simple pleasures that come from running your nails along their arm as they rest their head onto your chest. For instance take what I have written about the idea of wanting those thoughtless high school nights back, to me that may actually be the material the string is made of and as you begin to knot that feeling of being 14 again around the ideas you have thought of or pictured in your mind. You begin to feel what it is like to get all the pieces of a very scattered puzzle to come together.

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“She is better than the girl of my dreams…. She is real.”

What would I describe love as?

Or perhaps better put what would I describe the feeling I yearn for from another in my life?

I suppose my ears could tell you through the voice of a beautiful song. The way the tone resonates through my heart and body. The tremble the sound carries to my ear drums that shake my body and cause my hairs to stand on end. The sound filling your whole body, unable to make out the words, but just register the feeling it causes you.

Perhaps my mind could think for you through the lack of struggling with signs, or how it could be, or how it might be, but how it is.
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A mixture of my brain and yours.

You woke the morning up
Running off the darkest night
The longest fight I’ve seen
Here goes a chance I know
Cashing in on all my chips

These days, a little bit longer than the last
And all of your ways, a little bit stronger than the past
And your light, found my bottle in the night
Gave me second life, kept me in this fight

And I won’t back down
I won’t turn around and around
And I won’t back down
Doesn’t matter what comes crashing down
I’m still gonna stand on solid ground

You found me once and for all
I laid it down in the sinking ground
The hopeless undertow
Singing out the gentle sound
Rattling through my smoking screens
My broken dreams last night

These days, a little bit longer than the last
And all of your ways, a little bit stronger than the past.

Hallelujah ripped through my veins
I heard the hammer drop
My blood in the rain

Hallelujah came like a train
When all is lost
All is left to gain

Time well wasted.

I dunno if I am supposed to pretend I don’t feel like shit right now or not.

If I am supposed to not read into everything I see and hear.

If I should be the only one who can’t picture the end quite yet.

If I should be the only one who is not so disgusted by a face I remove it from site or a memory I push it from mind.

If I should post this on facebook, although irony would have it so anyway.

I dunno if I should feel like the first day I felt the word growing and trying to push its way out of my mouth, that word we dance around in our hearts, but instead a twisted version tearing me apart.

As if the butterfly’s grew wings of steel and are tearing at my insides to reveal, nothing, nothing more than a few weeks.

A few weeks that meant more than a memory long forgotten 2 and a half years ago.

A memory of sheep and strawberries and spongebob.

I don’t know if you are going to run.

I don’t know if it is because of what you heard or because to feel what i feel as well is scarier to be with than to have none.

I don’t know why I can’t just stfu, but the stupid part is, I don’t know if I am being stupid for understanding.

I don’t know if I am being stupid for having hope.

I don’t know if I am being a fool for just sitting and not standing.

I just don’t know if as the day goes on the things in your mind become worse or the same as before.

I don’t know if you still want me.

I don’t know if when you hear something in a movie that is stupid and cheesy if you think of me and not push it from mind.

I don’t know if this is doing damage.

I don’t know if it’s going to be the same.

I just don’t know.

But I am a fool, as I have stated before, a fool from a Shakespearean play. So I will, because my heart tells me too, just let time, have its way. Watching the world, seeing some truth, and making a gest here and there.

“It’s not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Time well wasted for now.

“Swallows” “Kisses” “Looks Deep into eyes” “hi”

WARNING YOU MAY BECOME EXTREMELY SELF AWARE OF THIS IF YOU READ, AND IT MAY DRIVE YOU NUTS FOR A LITTLE. KINDA LIKE IF I SAY, RED CAR, YOU WILL SEE RED CARS. BUT THEN AGAIN YOU MAY NOT 😛

The first one is when we WANT to kiss a girl. For the strangest reason I think we all have some sort of reflex that we HAVE to swallow before we want to go in for a kiss with a girl. Usually more in those first few dates where it is still not extremely natural and comfortable to just kiss them. Ya know the same period of time when you usually hold in your farts. God thank jesus I am done with that bullcrap, that hurts! I dunno if it was an age or the people I wated to date, but yeah that ended at around 23-24, and usually if it is uncomfortable for more than a day with someone, that is a red flag… Anyway side tracked. I think maybe it has to do with checking breath, or not wanting to be caught in what we want to be the perfect kiss and having to cut it short so not to drool on the girl.

I used to notice when a girl wanted to kiss me when I would hear her swallow when we were close. I then started to get self conscious about myself doing it. As if she would hear me and know what I was thinking or if I was actually JUST swallowing she would think I was thinking something I wasn’t AHHH! lol. IM NOT OCD!! I still notice it here and there but it isn’t really on the forefront of my mind anymore and I have actually stopped doing it as much. But when I was younger it was almost all the time! 🙂 So yeah either you are sitting there going, hahahahhaha I totally do that, or you think I’m nuts, either way I’m good with the outcome!

Second, is the thing I think EVERYONE has done once in their life right after kissing a girl or being really close to a girls face just kinda looking at one another.

What could this magical thing be? Something not magical at all, and I still don’t understand why we don’t crack up when we do it to one another. First we stare deeply into each others eyes usually one of us laying on the other. And sometimes after a kissing spree or just in a romantic moment, we say, in a whispery voice, “hi”…

“hi.”

Sigh… lol is it because all our blood has rushed to our pee pees and we can no longer understand how the structure of a conversation works anymore, forgetting we had spent the entire day/night with the person up until that point making it so we don’t have to start introductions again? I mean this one borders on the cute line/cheesy line/retarded in the head line/bad timing line/STALKER. But we all do it.
Shit I did it last night. And we both giggled when I said it and she said it back, and kissed again. I guess it is a super turn on! haha.

Random additional thought: The WORST is when you have a drippy nose and the person you are with wants to kiss for a longer period of time than you planned out for and you have to fight not snotting all over them and suffocating since they took your only form of breathing away from you forcing air into your nose pushing out your snots! ahhaa.

ANYWAY, for those like my mother who think I am giving out relationship advice haha, I am just recounting things that I think are fun to write out loud about versus just thinking it and since I am in a relationship at the moment, it sparks these thoughts as they happen. These are more of personal thoughts and if they apply to you cool if not okaley dokaley haha. I just wanted to share! 🙂 Sooo pfft!

The Tickle Kiss.

I am probably going to be tossed out of man society by giving up this “well kept secret”. But let me explain the move that for SOME REASON all guys think is the best icebreaker for a first kiss IN THE WORLD. And by ALL guys I include myself.

I call it the Tickle Kiss.

This is the move where you are awkwardly at a standstill with talking or the date has gone well really well and you are both kinda jonzin for a kiss, but you cannot get up enough courage just to be rico suave and lean in. You say, “Are you ticklish?”(in a very sinister and and before they get a chance to tell you, you begin to prod and poke looking for it. If you are lucky you find it. First you just do it once as a joke and you both smile. The girl is almost guaranteed to look at you back and say, “Don’t do that again” in a playful tone. This is when the guy will immediately go for the move. He will begin to tickle her until she is in uncontrollable spasm. This usually ends up with the guy overpowering the girl and them ending up in very close proximity or with him on top of her on the floor, on a couch, whatever the tickle gods have deemed necessary for him to continue tickling her as she tries to get away. So for the time being lets say it ends up with him over her on a couch and her leaned up against the armrest of one of the far sides of the couch when he stops tickling her. Now their eye meet, and they are close to each other, and BAM KISS!

This is like the fallback, goto, default, first kiss move to do for any first date where you just NEED TO but don’t know how.

There are a few exceptions though which makes for a dry evening and the guy usually taking a moral hit, but often guys will ask you the following questions and make some of these statements prior to the first date. Mind you these questions/statements seem innocent enough but they have a deeper meaning than you expected! Are you ticklish? Where are you ticklish? I’ll find out where you are ticklish! I’m gonna jump you and tickle you to death! (aka I am going to jump on top of you tickle you until we are so close, if we don’t kiss it just isn’t meant to be)

And if you are NOT ticklish oh man you have just made the guy go into panic mode! Not only can he not take over an argument or conversation by tickling you, which usually ends up with a kiss to make it better, but he cannot make his first move with the Tickle Kiss.(way to fuck that up ladies!)

What still confuses me, is the GIRLS ALWAYS ACT AS IF THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED. As if they are not onto our little device for kiss timez! We kiss them after the tickle kiss and when we pull away the girl AND the guy say the same thing, “Oh I’m sorry” with a wicked grin on their faces, acting as if they didn’t expect it. And then usually if all is kosher they kiss again. Now I am not saying these are not amazing moments of goodness but it is still fun to think about how it all plays out. I guess sometimes we just NEED to really have those moments of cheese to make the days go by. So bring on some more cheese I say!

(FACEBOOK COMMENTS)

Gareth Cales

Gareth Cales

Ok, yeah. It’s true.
August 28, 2009 at 4:32pm ·
Theik Smith

Theik Smith

…Wisdom.
August 28, 2009 at 4:37pm ·
Alexander Brazie

Alexander Brazie

It’s just an excuse to get close. At which point, things take care of themselves.
August 28, 2009 at 4:41pm ·
Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

that is SOOO not what you just typed to me in chat! lol
August 28, 2009 at 4:41pm ·
Jun Falkenstein

Jun Falkenstein

That kinda works only AFTER a few first real nice kisses. I would want a first kiss with a guy to be more sweet/romantic rather than me throwing up/punching the guy because I’m being tickled. Which is NOT romantic.
August 28, 2009 at 5:17pm ·
Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

Ur such a downer Jun.
August 28, 2009 at 5:17pm ·
Jun Falkenstein

Jun Falkenstein

NO I AM A REALIST
August 28, 2009 at 5:17pm ·
Jun Falkenstein

Jun Falkenstein

OK not, just more of a softie and romantic.
August 28, 2009 at 5:18pm ·
Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

Realist means ur gonna get punched and kissed after being tickled! 🙂
August 28, 2009 at 5:18pm ·
Jenna McKinney

Jenna McKinney

lmao wooooow
August 28, 2009 at 6:27pm ·
Rosemary Pope-Wallin

Rosemary Pope-Wallin

what? All of a sudden you are Emily Post Relationship Advice man??? The tickle ploy is a clear see-thru attempt! Primitive at best! LOL!
August 28, 2009 at 6:34pm ·
Tristan G Pope

August 28, 2009 at 7:10pm ·
Jennifer Smith

Jennifer Smith

Shit. Forgot to tell you that I signed for a package for you today– it was from the “Man Society.” Unless it’s some underworld gay thing, methinks your man-license was revoked. You can put the rejection letter next to your NRA card…
August 28, 2009 at 8:03pm ·

Gina Pope Moore

Gina Pope Moore

The tickle gods? Lovin’ it! Been a loooong time since I’ve been in a tickle kiss situation. Hilarious to read about it now, as you describe it, which is of course right on the money. The things you observe and think to write about are indeed entertaining.

Love is scary.

So it is a strange thing to feel this way about another person.

There is so much of the equation you will never know because in the end you are both two different people with different thoughts and minds.

But when it feels right there is something to it that makes you think you can read their mind and them you.

But I think the scariest thing is something that happened recently, watching her put away my laundry, feeling sick, and completely out of it, yet I sat in the bed and watched her. And with everything playing against the situation and an increasingly upset stomach on my end as well, I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to ever have to.

And I think that is where it becomes scary to feel this strongly for someone. When you realize, wow, if they leave, die, or just turn into jerk faces, it is going to hurt.

But I have always gone into relationships with my heart of my sleeve and figured hey, if they punch it, oh well, I will bleed a bit and get back out there. So I will not do it any differently here, but it just feels soo much more intense.

Plus you wonder, does it just happen like this? Have I found that person? It is something we all want but when faced with the reality of it, it is freakin scary.

Instead of thinking a year into the future with random thoughts of “If it works” my brain has already played out 30 years from now. At least I haven’t considered dying next to her yet, although I have considered where I would retire and how that would be. Lol. Dammit so probably like 50 years in the future! BY THE WAY YOU ALL DO IT so don’t deny it lol. It isn’t me sitting in my room contemplating it for hours it is fleeting quick thoughts that flash by as quickly as you blink.

We are still in the moments where we spend a better half of a day in bed just staring at each other and making witty banter. Then we realize our day is gone and we rush to do normal everyday things. But somehow, and I am yet to figure this one out yet, we fit in a WHOLE lot of substance to our conversations and days even if it feels rushed at the end after we sat in bed all day.

So what am I saying exactly? Nothing specific, just recounting a moment of thought, probably not as well as I could being as I had it last night and wrote myself a note to remember cause I wanted to sleep. But oh well, I wanted to write about it anyway.

I really am so excited to get her to NYC with me. I want to share a part of me that is extremely revealing of who I am. I want it to be months from now when my brain and my emotions can agree upon a decision to love. NYC isn’t that moment but it shows a passage of time when we finally go, so it makes an example of what it is, not how it will happen. I also want to experience the romance of NYC with someone I love as well. I always found it to be the most romantic cities in the world. (well until I went to Paris and saw their mood lighting on the streets and bridges at night)

I feel a little bit like my big sister right now, because she always seemed to jump into relationships heart first, and I feel like I should be confiding in her for advice on when it is OK to let it just BE that way, but at the same time, me and my sister differ very much in relationships and how we approach them 🙂

As of right now I am excited for moments like this weekend when we plan on getting out of bed, going and doing something fun together. Just planning a day where we are away from our lives but in each other’s is nice.

I finally got to see her in the chair for a fleeting moment last night.

I realized that I wish I had more lighting like my room around the house; it is very much a thing that my sister used to do. Her houses were always warm and inviting. I try to emulate that the best I can, which usually means I wait until she gets here to help me decorate! Haha.

I woke up to her toothbrush next to mine. It was warming.

Anyway, that is all for now.

Lost in txtlation – Part II

Why is txting so popular?

How many times when you get a text do you think to yourself, MAN I have to TYPE THIS OUT!?!? Or you get a frustration with trying to convey a one word answer by hitting numerous keys.

Well it seems if you feel this way you may be the odd man out.

Texting, AIM, Email, Facebook messages, Myspace, etc., these have all become a common place to talk to someone. It is no longer calling someone up on the phone to chat but through a mediator such as MySpace.

So what makes these forms of interaction so popular? I have a couple of theories.

For people trying to pick up one another, such as one would do at a bar, these forms of interaction make for a very safe environment.

Think of it if you may, as a book. You pick up a book and can interpret the writers words with whatever your imagination can dream up. There is a sense of magic here. You could even say in the case of meeting someone new, it has that sense of romanticism(movie romance) as you read into each word the other types and try to make it fit what you want, feel, ate for lunch.

But these books don’t end when you end the conversation for the night. These books keep living and breathing, having their own lives, with interaction, dreams, work, and so on. The next time you pick up the book the cover may have changed and the title altered, the pages may even be more worn than when you last picked it up. Thus is human nature for our day to day lives to take effect on our overall story, but to the person not physically in our lives the words still look the same as they did the night before and the everyday use not noticeable through the hard cover, perhaps we will call it the computer screen. So before you know it they are reading a book about vampires when they swore if they ever had anything to do with Sparkly Vampire books they would kill themselves.

Txts, aim, and email are like living a relationship as if it were a book, able to form your own opinions on who is on the other side. And who doesn’t dream big or disappoint huge. So perhaps we are making the other person out to be the villain or the antagonist. So let’s say finally we do meet face to face, will our children’s fairy tale like aspirations be too overwhelming for reality of the truth? We are all dreamers and words on a page leave a lot for us to dream for, good and bad. Is it similar to beauty as we see it through the eyes of Photoshop? Does it make us get further and further away from true love as we read deeper and deeper into the ease of manipulating our own minds by applying our own inflections and scenarios to what people type?

Have you ever been on the edge about buying something for yourself, but you go to the website and fill out all the info anyway, even as you debate it. As you finish up you are still on the fence, but you stare at the enter button. You drag your mouse over it, and without a second thought you CLICK, because you cannot take it back. And at that point all that is left is just to convince yourself that it was a good choice. The same can apply to conversations, especially in a place like AIM. During a conversation where there is no instant repercussions it is easier to say “I love you” or “You bitch” or anything between the lines, because all you have to do is hit enter. You don’t have to worry about seeing their face, or them seeing yours.

Which leads me to the idea of “second chances”.

These forms of interaction give you a chance to say or hear it first, take a moment, analyze the situation and form the right answer, not YOUR answer. You essentially are able to look through the deck and “Play the right card”. Oh and if you guessed wrong and the house had an ace you can twist your words, “Oh I totally meant that in a sarcastic tone” “Oh I’m sorry I meant that as a joke I have a dry sense of humor”. It is easier to let go of what someone says as a misinterpretation or wait till they type something you like to hold onto versus the things that would send up red flags if you heard it in their voice. With text and conversation held in text you can literally count up the things you like and do not like. You can erase the moments that didn’t fancy your palette. Problem is, because you don’t know how jazzed they were on the other side, you once again are forming opinions about how they feel about things through how you feel. Weighing their amount of interest in something by your own.

So who is it that you are talking to on the other side? Is it perhaps just a version of yourself? Does the anonymity and lack of inflection allow for your to read their words as that dream person or perhaps in your own voice?

Is this a great way for people who may not like face to face conversation to interact?
Or could it be, we are working against our own aspirations through the rudimentary idea that we sit in class at age 12 and analyze other’s work, such as poetry and literature, and through these actions we form opinions. But when the other person is alive and breathing on the other end to explain where as a dead poet would scream from the grave to be able to explain the truth.

I suppose time will show more on this one. But if we continue to move further and further from interaction and more into twitter spheres where you must be followed to be popular but you need to follow first to be followed making your ability to read your followed less and less, you might as well just not talk at all.

Perhaps the generations will just skip me, and I will be lost in the archaic idea of feeling by being close to the other person. Perhaps I will be a character from “Demolition man” and be shunned for trying to talk vs sending a txt or in their case touching during sex, vs virtually fantasizing about it. Funny part is, they predicted Arnold would be governor in that movie, so who is to say they are that off on the idea of interactions.

It scares me because people do tend, myself included, to choose the path which is least intrusive on our lives, quirks, fears, but do more people than just me feel that burning desire to meet in person and frustration caused by countless txts leading to no next step. I like to move forward, and these types of interactions don’t have a very planned path, because we can leave them with whatever excuse fits us for the day, “tired” “work early” gonna grab some food” etc etc. But what truth is in it all?

(FACEBOOK COMMENTS)

Gennarose Pope

Gennarose Pope

Whomever wrote “Demolition Man” is most definitely a modern day Nostradamus and should take up the office of national wizard immediately.

Seems texting adds to and aids with cultural social anxiety. It’s ye ole’ vicious cycle effect. One commences with texting as a comforting alternative to one on one interaction and therefore breaks through … See Moretheir social anxiety and connects with the world, while another loses the desire to connect one on one with the world by texting. I think they had similar fears about letter writing. And the telephone. And email. And soon we’ll have virtual party rooms with smell and touchivision and won’t have to leave our beds at all.

July 7, 2009 at 7:05am ·

Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

Interesting about the same fears with letters. I know it is all the same ole’ Older person freaked out by the “future” technology yadda yadda. But I think the difference between letters and internet is accessibility. Much more of a pain in the ass to write a letter than an email and usually a letter is more intimate now. Doesn’t mean I’m not full of shit, just means I think with cultural anxiety we need to fight that in our selves and figure out a happy medium of both.

The notebook, OVER THE TOP, or obtainable?

It isn’t that you cannot find love like that in a movie as over the top as the Notebook, it is just that is won’t play out like a movie, quickly and only those moments. So instead of being afraid of romance or using words like ‘cheesy’ when it happens, why not enjoy the moments as much as you can, because you never know when the next one will be. Not to mention the more you make someone feel stupid for thinking in a romantic way, the more numb they become to wanting or even thinking of doing it.

Don’t believe me? Ask your girlfriend the last time a guy did something super memorable or romantic for her. Maybe 1 out of 25 gets a romantic gesture. Girls seem to get how to do it a bit more but seem to do it less sporadically, more for special occasions like a birthday.

GUYS, all you have to do is listen to her when she talks. The smallest word out of her mouth incorporated into a moment can be the most romantic day of your life.

GIRLS, stop making fun of guys if they are romantic, because you are full of shit if you don’t like it a little bit. True there is such thing as too much, but until it is TOO MUCH, perhaps you should just enjoy it?

I suppose we have to fit roles. And if a girl sees you are romantic they automatically think you are THAT role. Wish people would look at each other like Trees. If you cut to the core, you will see the rings of life and understand there is much more than just the ONE ring you can see at that moment.

Anywhooo…

(FACEBOOK COMMENTS)

Siri Selvnes

Siri Selvnes

The Notebook is one of my all time favorite movies.

“I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but in one respect I’ve succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough. “

July 5, 2009 at 2:11pm ·
Gina Pope Moore

Gina Pope Moore

Hmmm, interesting tree analogy. And back when I was your age, I LOVED it when a guy (the right guy) would take the time and energy to do romantic things. Now that you’ve brought it up, I may just have to reinvent those sorts of gestures because they tend to fade away when two people have been together for a long time. Have not seen this movie in a long time so will watch it again. I do remember shedding a few tears though!
July 6, 2009 at 2:06am ·

Kirsten Danielle Blair

Kirsten Danielle Blair

It’s true. I can count the incidences on one hand, where i have received a romantic gesture designed with me in mind. And you really do grow numb to it after time, which is sad because the deterioration of said acts and displays of love really does eventually cause them to become foreign and awkward. Just as easily as we have been conditioned to “… See Moremake fun of”, or reject romance as part of our current progression of culture, with equal ease we should be able to facilitate its reintroduction. We just need to be mindful of its absence in the first place, by having more romantics, such as yourself, roaming the streets 🙂

Are we all that important to one another?

Have you ever waited for the phone to ring? Have you ever just waited in general, even if you didn’t know the person more than a conversation or a glance, for the next time you could be in the same place at the same time. Where your brains both focused on each other and the words flowed from inspiration instilled by the other person.

I and any of my ex girlfriends will tell you I will not jump into “girlfriend boyfriend” status fast and I expect to know a whole lot about a person before I can see taking that step. It isn’t that I am afraid of a relationship it is that I am one of those rare few who actually thinks the title of girlfriend or boyfriend is important. And if I am going to take that step of commitment to the other person I want to make sure I am invested.

That is where I think I either hit or miss. I treat the dating in the beginning as a different animal. I look to find out as much as possible when I am talking to someone. I want to know that the person on the other end of the phone or in front of my face is able to give me who they are, unabated without the need for a title to open up. This usually ends up poorly for me, because I find that not many people are willing to build their walls from the ground up. They go in with a castle fully defended ready for battle. So by the time my words and personality shine through their wall breaking into who they are, my walls have built up around me to shelter me from the empty feeling I got back. And then it is nearly impossible for me to be myself anymore because I expect my first impressions to continue.

Which I have to say are usually not too off, not in a pretentious way, but in the idea that people usually show their true colors with those walls up, because when you break them down, it just means they are down for you, not the people around them, as well as they have broken down the “relationship walls” so who is to say if they are acting differently to you than a friend or family member. I mean why do we even build “walls” in the first place? What is so scary about being hurt by someone not working out on a relationship level? Shouldn’t we be running head long into these situations so we can have as many as possible to find what we want as quickly as possible. For a cultural need of love it is amazing how many boundaries we put up from letting us get there.

I think of love as a starting point, not the end. When you find love and maybe even marriage you are free of this stigma placed upon you at birth. You FOUND the holy grail, now you have a whole lot more to look forward to with this everlasting life without the need to squander the earth for love. So what will YOU do with eternity.

But I am off topic. What is it that causes that feeling in our stomach when we have an interaction with someone that feels right? What makes us pace back and forth, whether we admit it or not, or whether our life is busy enough to let it be more than a thought here or there? I think we all get it. I think we also have a tendency to try to make it go away so we don’t seem desperate or anxious. We all want to be “Cool”. But isn’t it cool to know that someone else is intriguing to you and you them. Shouldn’t we share those moments?

It reminds me of how I meet people I have dated or how I ask someone to the next step of a relationship. It has always been something very memorable. Not because I MUST have it as a special moment but because I am inspired to think about the time ahead of us as important and want to be able to perhaps one day look back on it and remember. A Polaroid in time. Something you flip through a scrap book when you are older and just you know the feeling it held for you. I don’t want to tell my kids, me and mommy met at a bar, and I was doing jello shots off her curves… I want it to be special to me and her. So I listen, I absorb, and trust me, we all have something that means something to us, as menial as it may be that makes for that perfect moment.

It is like the idea of digital cameras these days. They are so easily accessible that we often carry them and do not use them. Back in the days of my parents, to take a video it was a big ToDo, lights, microphones, heavy equipment and expensive film. So when Grandpa or dad busted out the camera as much as you may object you did it anyway because it was special.

And god those videos have emotion and raw truth to them. Because no one said, PUT THAT AWAY, or if they did it was shrugged off as funny.

I want to find someone in my life that agrees with the idea that a camera should be passed from hand to hand snapping times of life together. Not just a way to grab a point smile click shot, but a mini photo shoot in the middle of the street on the way to work. Where both people on each end of the camera can look back later and see who THEY were.

I want to be able to riffle through a box of old Polaroids with someone and show my kids how old I really am 🙂

And I am off topic again.

I enjoy those moments when I sit antsy waiting for the next encounter where I can talk to someone that made an impression. I don’t expect anything more than a conversation. I guess I want to say I break the mold of “OMG I need to be with you, that is why I have butterflies until our next talk”. I just want to be able to share with someone who seems to be able to understand my musings and theirs inspire mine to keep going.

It seems to me that showing interest in someone or admitting to the feeling of butterflies defies your true intentions. It is as if you just gave the person an arrow for the bow they had strung. And dagnammit(yes I said that) they are gonna fire quickly. Why would they fire? Because you have just given them the advantage. They now control the situation because either they can agree they enjoy the time with you and even the playing field or shoot it as fast as possible to quell all odds of the dice roll when meeting someone. Just because I am interested in someone doesn’t mean we are good for each other. I base that first feeling on just that a feeling, an impression, an aura of their person. That doesn’t mean I know ANYTHING about them. But it does mean I want to find out. I want to be able to have that open conversation over and over where each time when we stop talking I feel more nervous stomach feelings, because it is working out. To get to the point where I would pursue someone, I need to at least have them open up and spend time with me and I with them. All I can say in the beginning is, wow you make me feel good. And that is good enough for me. But why should I hide it in a cat and mouse game? I won’t and I will dig my grave with many people this way, but I will not give up on the idea that eventually someone will be interested in kissing at the beginning of a date just to see if that chemistry is there instead of spending too much time of a small life guessing. At the same time there needs to be a balance rope of those moments and where you wait for the phone to ring.

I loved what my stepmother once said, where when I find the person I am meant to be with, it will be explosive, because after all this thought and all these ideas, if the other person has had half these thoughts too, the conversation should be freakin’ fireworks.

We do not need to assume everything about a person’s intentions if we are just living to share. There is no reason to be afraid of a conversation, because it may lead to happiness and if it doesn’t work out the way of “love” then we had a great conversation and that conversation helped to build us as people.

We are all so important to one another. The people we come across, the music we listen to, the moments we have, they are forever. As much as we may push forward to further careers, or to just enhance our daily lives with shit not boring, at the end of the day, the people around us are the real important part. They are what help us to be who we are, because we have something else to base our existence on. A movie I just watched said “The bravest people are those who are not afraid to stay still”.

This is a new idea to me. I am one of those people who wishes for the simpler life but knows I would need something to give me that monumental feeling of completeness in my mind to be able to stop pushing forward to enjoy that kind of life.

To go out into the woods and camp out on the hood of a car or sit in the sweltering heat with a person that makes me feel good that the sweat and the bugs are not a bother but a feeling. Side by side, staring blankly upward, but there together. No topic too small or big. I guess to find someone that understands when to be silent and when to chat nonstop would be nice. When to just BE in the moment and when to search for it.

I often reference Alabama type shit for those “moments” because I find they are the most relatable through pop culture or movies but I am a city boy at heart and I find the romance in a city to be truly amazing. The sidewalks, the graffiti, the random tree here or there, the parks, the busy streets filled with people, the food at 4 am. These all are places I picture adventures as well.

How I will find it, life still hasn’t told me. So it should be a fun ride.

Oh and the next person to say “FML”, I’m going to send you anthrax.

(FACEBOOK COMMENTS)

Jennifer Owings

Jennifer Owings

Its nice to hear you voice the vulnerabilities that I often feel in a new relationship. I think I often try to convince myself that men are selfish creatures and have no empathy for the things that “women go through” at the start of something new. Thanks for reminding me that it can be just as difficult for the other person : ).
June 21, 2009 at 10:08pm ·
Jennifer Smith

Jennifer Smith

The older you get, the harder it is to find someone who is willing to be uninhibited by their feelings… because with age comes more opportunities to be hurt, and thusly more fear of new relationships of “potential pain.”

[I had a long blurb here that I decided to delete on my thoughts. lol]

And, bro, you know I can hook you up with some spores! Benefit of living with someone in the microbial industry… haha

June 21, 2009 at 10:17pm ·
Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

I think additionally and I can’t find a place for it so I will write it here, it is like drinking on a holiday till your face falls off or HAVING to have the perfect birthday experience. We put so much pressure or high needs for these days that are marked as special. And if we don’t end up puking or upset the next day we feel like it has been … See MoreFOREVER since we felt this way. What is wrong with the idea of, hey I wanna plaster my brain against a wall and hold onto a toilet tonight and JUST DOING IT that night, no need for a “Holiday”. Or why instead of planning the world for a birthday, you plan to relax and have those around you that are important. And play it by ear. Somehow this applies, setting the bar yadda yadda to what i just wrote… but like I said… dunno where so here is the comment.
June 21, 2009 at 10:20pm ·
Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

“The older you get, the harder it is to find someone who is willing to be uninhibited by their feelings… because with age comes more opportunities to be hurt, and thusly more fear of new relationships of “potential pain.” And with the best intentions of the word, FUCK THAT. I am not saying don’t go with feelings, it is the idea of HURT… I mean… See More come on… life is too short to be HURT because Jimmy on the playground didn’t like you. Joey right next to him thought you were hot too. He just saw Jimmy get to ya first and so are you gonna let Jimmy through his asshole-ness ruin your chances with Joey. Hell no! I mean if I said, you can have a million dollars but only if you run up that hill in 3 minutes. WOULD YOU NOT RUN YOUR ASS OFF?!? Why should this differ in relationships. You could SPRAIN your ankle or not make it in 3 minutes which is pain on all levels, but you would be damned if you didn’t try. So for something so “SOUGHT after” as “Love” why wouldn’t you give it the same effor
June 21, 2009 at 10:24pm ·
Jennifer Smith

Jennifer Smith

Sometimes, people are just broken… I think it’s beneficial to meet someone as a new friend first, rather than as a potential partner. It removes the expectations of behaving in a “relationshippy” way– whether we like it or not, we are all programmed to behave in certain roles. Meeting someone with the intention to date automatically puts us … See Moreinto our “best face” zone.

If you want to find a “real” girl who is just herself all the time with you, meet someone to be your close comrade first… and then, once you know her inside and outside (figuratively, of course), it’s the right time to take it to a romantic level.

There is an ideal way of how things *should* be, and then human nature comes in and throws a curve ball… lol

June 21, 2009 at 10:29pm ·
Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

Whilst (yup said whilst, btw that’s my new thing poiting out weird words I say) I agree friendship is super important I think you just summed up part of what I am talking about with the idea that there is a “WAY” for these things to play out. I treat you the same way I treat my mother, the same way I treat my friends etc etc. Whilst (hehe) there … See Moreare things that differ a little there is a core there that never changes. If you got me at the right moment I would tell you just as much as I would tell me dad who I have known my whole life. We never know how it will happen for that “special moment” where it all just plays out. The healthy thing is to try to just go with gut feelings at first and then quickly after dig deeper me thinks. I could be wrong 🙂
June 21, 2009 at 10:39pm ·
Alexander Brazie

Alexander Brazie

This was an awesome discussion. Could use a great deal more vodka, though. Who’s down!?
June 21, 2009 at 11:01pm ·
Gina Pope Moore

Gina Pope Moore

Oy vey, haven’t thought seriously about this topic in years. Only partially tongue in cheek I’ll say (with authority since I am 46) that the pool of compatible mates becomes smaller as you age, thus increasing the difficulty of finding one. And yes, sometimes people are just broken. Then there are so many others who, for lack of a better term, … See Moreexhibit a strong prey drive, people who truly relish the game of cat and mouse you mentioned. I’d guess by varying degrees this is the norm, since we are animals and that’s how your basic animal is wired. However, there’s still a healthy percentage of people out there who are capable of being vulnerable and real, people who aren’t like hermit crabs moving into bigger and bigger castles with walls around them. And trite but true, sooner or later, they usually find each other.
June 22, 2009 at 3:12am ·
Gina Pope Moore

Gina Pope Moore

Jeez, that paragraph doesn’t hardly touch what I’d intended to say. So here goes just a little more: those folks who are busy wall builders, I would say that some of them can adapt and learn to be less guarded. I’ve seen it happen with several friends, and to an extent, to myself.

Also seems that time/age condenses what’s important to a … See Moreperson, so as you age, the things that matter to you most will take center stage, such things as a relationship which involves integrity and trust, compatibility, no cat and mouse crap. That famous Velveteen Rabbit quote just came to mind.

Also, I’m going to hang on to that movie quote.

June 22, 2009 at 3:29am ·
Tristan G Pope

Tristan G Pope

I think in many regards we get broken in different ways from past relationships gone wrong. We often are looking out for those things that pissed us off about other relations and when the new person does the opposite we notice it in more light than it should be. And those broken parts often make other features in people bigger and grander than they… See More should be. Making you miss the other parts that don’t work lending itself to you getting broken again.

So I suppose it takes the right tool to fix it all and be able to put all the nuts and bolts back in tightly so you can be yourself again. And that is the hard part.

June 22, 2009 at 10:31am ·
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