Halloween isn’t just an excuse to wear a slutty outfit, the slutty outfit has PURPOSE! It is “tease your significant other day” by wearing the sluttiest outfit possible, going out to a place where you can do nothing but be in close proximity and rub against each other… until it resorts to being literally dragged home and hardly getting up the stairs to your apartment before the costumes are puled aside, with the door only halfway open to our apartment, keys still falling to the floor” excitement.

This is not too much to ask for…