I wonder if it is an American or just a human thing that around 24 and up we realize we are not invincible and the effects of age regardless of amount big or small start to show themselves more.

There are things lately that scare the living shit out of me. While if I were to be dying I think I have come to the conclusion that it is probably not that scary to die since we don’t know exactly what will happen and it is just going to happen eventually, once we are dead, it is just that.

But there are things I hope I can find in life. Love being up there obviously lol. More of a person to share my life with and I need to find someone special to really let in deeper than I have before.

I do get a little freaked out about things in my life I need to fix like smoking, cancer seems like a shitty way to end life early.

Getting in shape in Paris reminded me of how much I enjoy being active and doing stuff, however I swear the next time someone wants to do something fun other than drinking I may crap myself in amazement.

Sometimes when you work a 5 day a week job, you wonder even if it is awesome, how you do things that you used to, like free time for example, time for your brain to let go, or just sitting on your ass for a month lol.

I suppose it all begins to figure itself out, just been thinking a lot lately so there are some random thoughts.