Why do we always have this inclination to go back with our ex’s. Is there something hardcoded into our brains to bring on the extra hurt? I mean don’t we get enough of that shit just on a daily basis from simpler things? We have to subject ourselves to our ex’s because our brains can’t retain the reasons and rationality to why we left in the first place. We seem to all suffer from short-term memory when it comes to this subject. I mean yes there is also the idea that it worked at one point so there will be some satisfaction for us, or the possibility that things have changed, but what do we usually break up over; the core of a person, not their daily quirks that are always going to change over time. So in essence we embark on something that is going to hurt one or both people again just to feel that relationships moments. Be it the comfort of “knowing each other” or the acceptance of flaws or perhaps the movie like atmosphere of all the bits pieced together.
I mean it is almost like being the person who will only tell you the truth while drunk. But once the buzz wears off it is ok to go back on everything you said, regardless of it being THE TRUTH. Just in reverse, for this case… you already know the truth when sober but go into a drunken state where you forget all the shit that makes you and that person not work and decide hmm I need to go back to the ex.
A relationship that is “on and off” just seems like something that is destined to fail.
We have a strange tendency to forget the reasons why a relationship failed in the past. Maybe the moment was so intense for us at the time, the minute it is over, we look back and wonder if we did the right thing. Because all of a sudden the intensity can never be the same and all we can remember are snippets. And usually we remember the best things of those or the places we leave, without the true ability to really comprehend what we didn’t enjoy. So imagine that in an “on and off” relationship, the memories are gonna be all fucked up.
As we age I believe there is only so much pain we are willing to subject ourselves to when it comes to relationships and on and off just doesn’t fly anymore. Not to say it doesn’t happen, but I think you realize it isn’t worth it as you get down the line more and would rather find happiness with yourself alone or with the RIGHT person than to just be content or settle.
Although I also see where this can be the opposite effect, and someone as they age wants to settle rather than be alone, which also has fail written all over it.
I wish there was a study of divorces in America vs overseas. And then compare that to the legit happy couples. Just to see if the cultural difference changes it.
But we all play the ex game. And I just don’t know why we subject ourselves to it. Not to mention the new separation from true communication with social sites, texting, and email, really makes it easier to flirt and mind fuck those who used to be in our lives, be it a txt after a year of not talking saying hi, or a post on their facebook wall, it is our subconscious or even main conscious just playing the ex game.
So what phone numbers do you have in your phone that you keep although you should probably delete them 😛