Being that my cat has figured out what the door buzzer sounds like, it makes package delivery days very dangerous times in my house to have any “lap time”. That being said, I am standing in the shower this morning looking over my latest battle wound covering half my upper abdominal area, and still thinking to myself,

“Man do I FEEL LIKE A BADASS! I AM A PIRATE OR FIGHT DRAGONS!”…

Now I consider myself to have situation awareness, yet I still look at this cut, caused by what can only be described as an act of cowardice from my wuss cat, running from the evil packages, filled with my monthly subscription to some sort of herbal tea, of the FedEx man, while I was probably sitting at the computer having snuggle time with said beast, watching YouTube re-runs of Ellen, and yet I still beat my chest as the shower water explodes outward, grunting as validation.