These are the cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind.

Tag: eyes

The sparkle in your eyes…

Does this, turned cheesy pickup line, have actual validity? I feel as though there is a moment in any date, relationship, meeting, where the “glimmer” usually enhanced by a dimly lit wine bar or restaurant’s candle light turns from the casual side effect of ambient lighting to an emotional response to the person across the way from you. What the exact cause of it is is beyond me, but my speculation is that it combines the transition in our minds when we go from “getting to know them”, to “wanting to know them”. It is a micro expression of itself that we don’t control when we truly become interested in the person we are looking at. Their words become more interesting, the motion of their mouths slow down allowing us to make out the words before they finish, we equate the lips, rouge colors cheeks, and words as more than just a person talking, but a person we want to listen to tomorrow as well as the very moment we are in. I think the actual glimmer or sparkle is similar to what I have the models I work with do when we shoot glamour, a simple “half squint”.


Cooking show


The photography world according to Peter Hurley has defined this a “squinching”


When we become sexually involved with someone or we try to entice, it is human nature to slightly purse our eyelids around the eye, this literally causes the refraction of light to change significantly as well as give us a bit of allure. So when we see the person across from as as someone we want to potentially kiss, the eyes squint slightly. But it isn’t just sexual, I find the transition also happens when we truly find the other person interesting mentally. It is our subconscious attempt to make ourselves more appealing to the other person inadvertently, so the lighting that we first introduced ourselves to one another in has now changed in our eyes.


We now have that glimmer or sparkle of the eyes. When that moment happens and you can recognize it, it is truly a beautiful experience. You become more attracted to the person, not because they have magically made themselves “sexier” but because they have given you a subtle hint that the night is going well. They have inadvertently told you, “I am paying attention”, “I find you interesting”, “I want to know more about you beyond this drink”. Be it emotional or sexual(or a mixture of both), the validation of knowing the person you are with finds you, in the simplest of explanations, “interesting”, is really a game changer. Obviously there is the problem that it is almost impossible to make a read on whether they are looking at you for your mind or your body, but when it is a combination and we both have it happen together, it is wonderful.


Guard drops, you feel more confident, and the sparkle will continue to intrigue you to keep more eye contact, which in turns raises tensions, personal connection, and open you up to yourself, allowing the other person in more: comfort. So the next time you are on a date and the lights dim, take a look at the person you are with, and see if their eyes have adjusted to the light or to you.


This sparkle, this glimmer, it doesn’t leave as love grows either. If anything this is something I have noticed, with more emotional attachment, grows in intensity. During day by day interactions it really shows when you are close to them in intimate settings. The “Two Face Theory”.

In my head, living the dream.

I think the most important feature for someone to fall in love with is the other persons face. I don’t say this because of beauty, but because of the way her smile makes you smile, the way her eyes sparkle just for you. That special sparkle that lets you into, them, as a person. Or even as simple as the way their nose crinkles or the lines in their jaw.

In a world where love is defined as a multitude of cultural differences, choices in life, eating habits, and stress levels, the face never changes. The face never lies.

In 100 years if you can picture staring at that person next to you and seeing their beauty through your eyes, you have found love.

Of course, the challenge is finding that beauty you need with a person you are compatible with. But life will change us every day. I am not the same person I was when I was young, nor am I the same person I was yesterday, and while some may consider a marriage in which every ten years you re-evaluate if you fit, I see a mixture.

Someone’s appearance isn’t everything. You can gain and lose weight as quickly as the blink of an eye. Your can cut or grow your hair. Your style fits you when you need it. However, there is an essence in the face, that shows the way a person is. You can see the core of someone’s morals through their face. I have recently draw upon the idea that some of the most successful relationships I have ever seen were when the couple had similar physical traits, mostly in their faces or expressions.

It is kind of like an owner and their dog, just not in a weird beastial way :P

Perhaps it is the idea that behind all of our self doubt and self consciousness, we are beautiful to ourselves. If we didn’t have some semblance of this, doubts and all, I don’t think we would make it from day to day. So perhaps in a very basic sort of way, we see that one thing we have no control over; the beauty in ourselves through our own eyes and we find that in our perfect match. And perhaps that same thing that controls that part of our subconscious is a part of what makes our minds run the way they do and hard codes us with the choices we will make, and the paths we decide to travel. If we go after those who grab us not for the makeup and eyeliner, but the pure, simplistic, animalistic, unabated beauty, we may find love for the rest of our lives.

It is hard to say beauty is within, when our first impressions are usually without. So why not go with that first gut reaction, because if you make sacrifices to your own feelings, you may end up in love with the idea of love itself and not the person next to you.

Who knows, maybe the simple way you can stare into their eyes, is actually a mental pheromone which shows you a similar path you are both going to journey down, a compatibility unseen until you jump in. That simple sparkle may act as a light to guide the way, for both of you.

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