Does this, turned cheesy pickup line, have actual validity? I feel as though there is a moment in any date, relationship, meeting, where the “glimmer” usually enhanced by a dimly lit wine bar or restaurant’s candle light turns from the casual side effect of ambient lighting to an emotional response to the person across the way from you. What the exact cause of it is is beyond me, but my speculation is that it combines the transition in our minds when we go from “getting to know them”, to “wanting to know them”. It is a micro expression of itself that we don’t control when we truly become interested in the person we are looking at. Their words become more interesting, the motion of their mouths slow down allowing us to make out the words before they finish, we equate the lips, rouge colors cheeks, and words as more than just a person talking, but a person we want to listen to tomorrow as well as the very moment we are in. I think the actual glimmer or sparkle is similar to what I have the models I work with do when we shoot glamour, a simple “half squint”.
The photography world according to Peter Hurley has defined this a “squinching” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff7nltdBCHs
When we become sexually involved with someone or we try to entice, it is human nature to slightly purse our eyelids around the eye, this literally causes the refraction of light to change significantly as well as give us a bit of allure. So when we see the person across from as as someone we want to potentially kiss, the eyes squint slightly. But it isn’t just sexual, I find the transition also happens when we truly find the other person interesting mentally. It is our subconscious attempt to make ourselves more appealing to the other person inadvertently, so the lighting that we first introduced ourselves to one another in has now changed in our eyes.
We now have that glimmer or sparkle of the eyes. When that moment happens and you can recognize it, it is truly a beautiful experience. You become more attracted to the person, not because they have magically made themselves “sexier” but because they have given you a subtle hint that the night is going well. They have inadvertently told you, “I am paying attention”, “I find you interesting”, “I want to know more about you beyond this drink”. Be it emotional or sexual(or a mixture of both), the validation of knowing the person you are with finds you, in the simplest of explanations, “interesting”, is really a game changer. Obviously there is the problem that it is almost impossible to make a read on whether they are looking at you for your mind or your body, but when it is a combination and we both have it happen together, it is wonderful.
Guard drops, you feel more confident, and the sparkle will continue to intrigue you to keep more eye contact, which in turns raises tensions, personal connection, and open you up to yourself, allowing the other person in more: comfort. So the next time you are on a date and the lights dim, take a look at the person you are with, and see if their eyes have adjusted to the light or to you.
This sparkle, this glimmer, it doesn’t leave as love grows either. If anything this is something I have noticed, with more emotional attachment, grows in intensity. During day by day interactions it really shows when you are close to them in intimate settings. The “Two Face Theory”.