These are the cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind.

Tag: bullshit

The Law of Relativity

I have heard before that this blog has helped people. Actually without a doubt, 90% – 95% of people who have read the list of links in “Love is Not Enough” in the menu above, have been able to separate from a bad relationship within 5 days of reading it. So what does that mean? Does that make me a “Life Coach”.. I don’t think so whatsoever. That someone related to something I wrote is a great bi-product of me writing this journal for myself with the intent of others reading. Sometimes you just need to hear the things you are thinking being said out loud by someone else. Nothing original, but something that you can relate to.

Today I heard this quote:

“Turning pro is a mindset. If we are struggling with fear, self-sabotage, procrastination, self-doubt, etc., the problem is, we’re thinking like amateurs. Amateurs don’t show up. Amateurs crap out. Amateurs let adversity defeat them. The pro thinks differently. He shows up, he does his work, he keeps on truckin’, no matter what.”

~Steven Pressfield

Of course it is a mindset. Everything we do is 90% mind and 10% body. It is also being able to navigate the past in a healthy way or at all. The groundwork of our being was laid down as children and for some that fear, procrastination, self sabotage, etc may be due to repressed memories, abuse, a bad childhood, a good one even, the way they were taught, morals, rebellion. The important part of this quote is missing… The part where it tells you it is OK to have these fears and not be called names. “Pro vs Amateur”  It is the journey and the courage to address these hurdles and learn how to navigate them to be a “professional” that should be celebrated. Anyone can tell someone they know HOW to get somewhere, but not everyone can hold their hand when they don’t or give them a lift to help them reach it.

Imagine if Einstein just told people, “Because it is the law of relativity”. And he NEVER explained it. The explanation in this case however is literally burned into our subconscious, being, brains, all bi-products of things we may not even remember happening. The embarrassing 8th grade school dance, the great feeling when we got our 50th touchdown in highschool, the way the family dog licked our face when we were 3. But we don’t get Einstein to give us a brilliant revelation to our issues, we are just faced with ourselves, our own exploration, and our own walls.

I want to repeat, ANYONE can say, “if you do something, it has been done”. But the hard part is we need to learn how to navigate things that have nothing, yet everything to do with the end result to even get it done in the first place.

The “Perfect” you?

I like to skip the bullshit of trying to make the perfect first impression because then you end up getting to know someone else other than yourself. You spend so much time trying to perfect a moment that hasn’t even happened you forget to enjoy it and be yourself ultimately.

If you are open to yourself and can be open with me, I want to get to know you not based on finding the perfect outfit for a first date, and then canceling because you can’t, but on the person you are every day, which leads to better conversation and a more relaxed meeting.

I mean when you are old and I am sitting by you in a rocking chair yelling at the kids across the street or the fish in the ocean (depends on where we retire) do you think I give a shit what you wore the first time I met you? 🙂

Although, I will remember haha. I am weird like that.

You still get that “chase” feeling.

I actually find the allure of a chase boring but I do find allure in infatuation. Those first moments of meeting someone, waiting for the phone to ring, replaying the night in your head to every song you hear. I haven’t experienced that in a bit. There is a thoughtless highschool nights feeling to it, but not in that naive way, more in a hopeful way, and looking forward to each meet. Knowing there is something interesting to go to, see, meet, finding the person more and more attractive as time passes, seeing new parts of their insecurity or hearing new inflections and being able to be there with them.

Being able to share that really thick first layer of who I am very quickly, no stigmas meaning time or constraints. I can tell you everything in a conversation on a first meeting or over 3 dates, and you won’t think I want to marry you or I have nothing else to say. You will think, this is normal. This is how you talk to someone else. This is REAL.

So to share this way, you don’t lose that “chase feel” but you lose the “fake game” feel to it. You get anxious for the meet because of the idea that you are starting to burst from the inside out to spill those words “I love you” not in a perfect way or a hallmark moment, but in a messy, tear induced, vomit. Where your entire body will no longer let you keep it inside and knowing that now, NOW the real fun begins, because “love is not enough”.

P.S. Did you ever think the perfect you, is just that… you?

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