People often set timelines for when they can start being vulnerable in a relationship. The truth is, to find someone who understands you even when you are vulnerable and open, that it doesn’t mean you have uncovered all the multi faceted parts of your person. Time tells this, time is the mitigating factor that allows this, but the time you put in on the journey should be genuine and real. You could tell someone everything on your mind in the moment, your history, your favorite foods, your goals, aspirations, etc… but regardless you will never know the person’s everyday without time spent with the person. Until two people have experiences together and live some life together, the smaller nuances of romance, connection, and exploration cannot be expressed, much to the objection of my instant gratification self. This is why it is important that the time you spend getting to know someone shouldn’t be too guarded, or by the time, time allows you to truly understand a person, you aren’t confronted with a completely different person in-front of you, now needing to start the process over again.
It is an American “ideal” that being guarded with the bad days, the truth, and how you feel are weaknesses. Where as in most other cultures that aren’t killing women for showing their feet, conversation and truth and openness are signs of self awareness, strength, and don’t lead to “love” but to understanding and acknowledgment that life isn’t a plan every time, but more of a choose your own adventure. Sometimes you have to back track and take a different path, but doesn’t mean the adventure you chose first wasn’t enjoyable.
In my experience, I have found the best way to approach a new relationship is by asking yourself everyday, “Are you enjoying the company of this person?” If the answer is yes, continue to the next day, if the answer is no, ask yourself why and if it is something that you cannot work through, question, or understand, it is time to move on, but if it is something that just makes two people different and a new concept you may have to learn to understand, continue to the next day with deeper knowledge and understanding of this person you are trying to merge lives with.
Everyone has their own mine field of experiences, and when you inevitably step on one or they step on yours it is how you deal with each explosion that can define a relationship: http://www.lostintxtlation.com/mindful-explanations/
Time doesn’t stop once you have decided you love one another either. Each day is going to be a new step, a new journey, you and I will change everyday, so not hiding that day to day is so important so as we change and grow alone, we still do it together. http://www.lostintxtlation.com/the-x-theory/