These are the cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind.

Tag: first kiss

The sparkle in your eyes…

Does this, turned cheesy pickup line, have actual validity? I feel as though there is a moment in any date, relationship, meeting, where the “glimmer” usually enhanced by a dimly lit wine bar or restaurant’s candle light turns from the casual side effect of ambient lighting to an emotional response to the person across the way from you. What the exact cause of it is is beyond me, but my speculation is that it combines the transition in our minds when we go from “getting to know them”, to “wanting to know them”. It is a micro expression of itself that we don’t control when we truly become interested in the person we are looking at. Their words become more interesting, the motion of their mouths slow down allowing us to make out the words before they finish, we equate the lips, rouge colors cheeks, and words as more than just a person talking, but a person we want to listen to tomorrow as well as the very moment we are in. I think the actual glimmer or sparkle is similar to what I have the models I work with do when we shoot glamour, a simple “half squint”.

 

Cooking show

 

The photography world according to Peter Hurley has defined this a “squinching” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff7nltdBCHs

 

When we become sexually involved with someone or we try to entice, it is human nature to slightly purse our eyelids around the eye, this literally causes the refraction of light to change significantly as well as give us a bit of allure. So when we see the person across from as as someone we want to potentially kiss, the eyes squint slightly. But it isn’t just sexual, I find the transition also happens when we truly find the other person interesting mentally. It is our subconscious attempt to make ourselves more appealing to the other person inadvertently, so the lighting that we first introduced ourselves to one another in has now changed in our eyes.

 

We now have that glimmer or sparkle of the eyes. When that moment happens and you can recognize it, it is truly a beautiful experience. You become more attracted to the person, not because they have magically made themselves “sexier” but because they have given you a subtle hint that the night is going well. They have inadvertently told you, “I am paying attention”, “I find you interesting”, “I want to know more about you beyond this drink”. Be it emotional or sexual(or a mixture of both), the validation of knowing the person you are with finds you, in the simplest of explanations, “interesting”, is really a game changer. Obviously there is the problem that it is almost impossible to make a read on whether they are looking at you for your mind or your body, but when it is a combination and we both have it happen together, it is wonderful.

 

Guard drops, you feel more confident, and the sparkle will continue to intrigue you to keep more eye contact, which in turns raises tensions, personal connection, and open you up to yourself, allowing the other person in more: comfort. So the next time you are on a date and the lights dim, take a look at the person you are with, and see if their eyes have adjusted to the light or to you.

 

This sparkle, this glimmer, it doesn’t leave as love grows either. If anything this is something I have noticed, with more emotional attachment, grows in intensity. During day by day interactions it really shows when you are close to them in intimate settings. The “Two Face Theory”.

The Tickle Kiss

I am probably going to be tossed out of man society by giving up this “well kept secret”. But let me explain the move that for SOME REASON all guys think is the best icebreaker for a first kiss IN THE WORLD. And by ALL guys I include myself.

I call it the Tickle Kiss.

This is the move where you are awkwardly at a standstill with talking or the date has gone well really well and you are both kinda jonzin(yes I said jonzin) for a kiss, but you cannot get up enough courage just to be rico suave and lean in. You say, “Are you ticklish?”(in a very sinister and and before they get a chance to tell you, you begin to prod and poke looking for it. If you are lucky you find it. First you just do it once as a joke and you both smile. The girl is almost guaranteed to look at you back and say, “Don’t do that again” in a playful tone. This is when the guy will immediately go for the move. He will begin to tickle her until she is in uncontrollable spasm. This usually ends up with the guy overpowering the girl and them ending up in very close proximity or with him on top of her on the floor, on a couch, whatever the tickle gods have deemed necessary for him to continue tickling her as she tries to get away. So for the time being lets say it ends up with him over her on a couch and her leaned up against the armrest of one of the far sides of the couch when he stops tickling her.(that is if she hasn’t pee’d herself) Now their eye meet, and they are close to each other, and BAM KISS!

This is like the fallback, goto, default, first kiss move to do for any first date where you just NEED TO but don’t know how.

There are a few exceptions though which makes for a dry evening and the guy usually taking a moral hit, but often guys will ask you the following questions and make some of these statements prior to the first date. Mind you these questions/statements seem innocent enough but they have a deeper meaning than you expected! Are you ticklish? Where are you ticklish? I’ll find out where you are ticklish! I’m gonna jump you and tickle you to death! (aka I am going to jump on top of you tickle you until we are so close, if we don’t kiss it just isn’t meant to be)

And if you are NOT ticklish oh man you have just made the guy go into panic mode! Not only can he not take over an argument or conversation by tickling you, which usually ends up with a kiss to make it better, but he cannot make his first move with the Tickle Kiss.(way to fuck that up ladies!)

What still confuses me, is the GIRLS ALWAYS ACT AS IF THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED. As if they are not onto our little device for kiss timez! We kiss them after the tickle kiss and when we pull away the girl AND the guy say the same thing, “Oh I’m sorry” with a wicked grin on their faces, acting as if they didn’t expect it. And then usually if all is kosher they kiss again. Now I am not saying these are not amazing moments of goodness but it is still fun to think about how it all plays out. I guess sometimes we just NEED to really have those moments of cheese to make the days go by. So bring on some more cheese I say!

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