Lost in Txtlation

These are the cookie crumbs for my depreciating mind.

Tag: tumblrize

Vices

I understand dealing with the harder days with a vice, for me it was cigarettes. Even when you quit it does stick around in your head as a want, but you as a person, you become stronger to make the choices as time passes. But it takes time unfortunately, and not time where we hide from the world waiting for it to pass, but time were I am out enjoying the world with my new goals. That last bit is the hardest to put into practice though. Working on it 🙂

Meditation to me…

My meditation doesn’t come in the form of a chant or breath excercise, (actually I believe there should be some Rocky theme music playing when doing Yoga, if I am able to get my body into those hard positions, I want some gratifying “YOU DID IT” music as reward, not birds chirping in my ear and bells making me lose my balance through a resonation in my inner ear… wow OFF TOPIC… anywhoo..)

I find my meditation through climbing a mountain in the crisp fall air, out of breath, totally submitted to my body and the world around me, and in those tiny moments when I can catch my breath, pause and wait for the next step, I get a feeling of clarity. The quiet, the fresh air, the world around me. And in that split second I get the meditation that some will sit for hours in silence to achieve(which is not bad, just this is what works for me). So if you could share those moments with me, that would be pretty great.

A bit of me…

I understand NYC is a city of don’t look up but I believe even though I too do not look up, seeing the people and the environment of social euphoria breaths a certain life into my spirit. I took that for granted when I moved to California. After living out there for 5 years I moved back to NYC for the social/cultural inspiration I grew up with. So YES I will point out the street performer that I think is amazing, and yes I will talk about the people I see that strike my fancy, or the conversation I overhear from the person on the subway next to me, I still get motivated by them as part of this walking canvas NY.

If you sum me up as a 1 page self summary, a 3 hour convo, or all day correspondence, you might as well just not talk to me, because I am not any of the above. I am a person with ideas and thoughts, someone who may or may not spark your brain and gain from it as well. I have anxiety toward things, fears, bad days, shitty days, but I smile and I move forward. If you are moving forward too, I want to know you.

I have not met you, I don’t know how your brain works yet, how you live your life, what your ideals are. All I know are sporadic profile stories and a glimpse into your emotion, inflection, and life. I am just asking you this: would your prefer complete safety as you take this part of your life journey, or do you mind me throwing shit at you that may or may not stick in the end? I don’t want to be the compromise, I want to be the inspiration, smiles, stories, memories, Polaroids of an adventure.

The X Theory

To put it in metaphor, I’d say that oftentimes paths will cross, as Fate would have it, and that would be Instant Love; however, in order to keep this instant love, you must apply that conscious effort to pursue… because when paths cross, they will naturally meet at one point, the middle of an X {a cross- those physical, chemical, mental changes}, and then start going the opposite way, as is natural with growing and life changing. This is where the effort to pursue Love comes in… where people will take the time, effort, and energy to pave a new road together. Regardless of where those roads of Fate may lead. And the strength of that crossing point will help to determine if it will last or it will grow apart. Because we are on different timelines, but if when we meet the intersection was strong enough, it can bind us together even as time changes who we will be.

“ Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.”

The Two Face Theory

There are two faces to every girl. The face you see when you come home from work, the face you see when you are covered in daily dirt, even the face you see when you cry. That is face one, the one. Now there is face two the one where you are so close. You are face to face, all blemishes to see, yet all I look for and hope you see the same in me, is to see a sparkle in your eye. I want to find that sparkle and have it last forever, I want to find that sparkle, not make it an endeavor, by this I don’t want the games to play, some drama here or there, is fun but maybe just today and tomorrow, and then a day off, sure it can be exciting I won’t deny that feat. The simple touch and connection I want to find, seemingly something you can find. So in this second face you and me, we will kiss and it will last, last and last, just because kissing is amazing to me, and in that second face to kiss with an eternity going by. The longer the better in my eyes. Sometimes to be slick the writer will say it lasted for the perfect moment, but want the moment to be more than just a moment, I want it to be the rest of my life.

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