A few things on my mind that make a good match, never really compiled together, usually thought about at different times, but compiled here in one list. The things that make me say “I love that about you”.
Confidence: When someone is constantly questioning their “self” it brings me down. I have my own “issues” and when two people cannot compliment one another’s issues versus just being conscious about them and accepting each other with them, it can turn toxic quickly. I don’t expect sunshine and roses every day, but I expect an understanding of one’s own issues. For instance, I know that I need affirmation of small things in my life… this quote taken from an astrology blog sums it up perfectly:
“I learned to understand my Leo by understanding that he needed positive re-enforcement for the little things. He needed me to be open to letting it all hang out with him or he tended to think I was not interested or had anything interesting to offer. This was out of my comfort zone but when I let go a little bit to him, it was a warm embrace that followed”
Sexuality: I have come to realize I am an extremely sexual person. Not in terms of OMG SEX, but in terms of being very in tune with what I like, what I like to give, how the person I am with needs to make me feel in order for me to want to give, and how I can often get lost in giving that I forget to take.
I have some kinks for sure, but they aren’t crazy; for example clothing textures: simple white bikini cut panties, the long tshirt and underwear, wireless bras(very european style), latex(my kryptonite), leggings(a lifestyle not just fashion), essentially I have realized I like smooth over lace. Don’t get me wrong lace is sexy, but I will 9 times out of ten be turned on by something that is silky or smooth or even simple cotton over a lace garment, mostly because it is nice to touch. I will often find a well put together outfit sexier than being naked.
I love to try new things. There is this wonderful place called the internet and while some may consider it a waste and you just “do” when sexing, I believe in learning, getting better, and trying new things. I recently ran across a video that showed a man having multiple orgasms from a certain type of tease/denial, it would be amazing if I found someone open to trying these things and not afraid to talk about them. Being afraid to talk about sex is a turn off. To me sex at its core definition is the default, everything else is the lead up and exciting parts. There is also something to be said for understanding when sex and making love is amazing and when foreplay is as well. Finding that comfort level with someone is also important so the new things aren’t scary, but exciting. Shit I wrote a review on one of the coolest sex toys for men with my real name attached to it because I believe in anything that will help to bring us to a better orgasm!
I have learned a ton about the female anatomy and pride myself on being very in tune with what feels good for a woman. I know in my mind that I will not rest until I get the woman to orgasm. It brings me pleasure, so I look at it in the same respect when reversed. If I think someone is giving up or isn’t into pleasing me, I will have trouble getting off. I am not the easiest to please but I would hope they would do everything they could to attempt to. To know someone is going to “stop soon” makes it hard to just be in the moment and turns into a “performance anxiety” rather than a pleasurable experience. If I have learned not only from experience but from watching, reading, etc… why should I expect any less from them?
One other thing, being equally dominant. I am by default the dominant one, but internally submissive. To grab someone by the back of the head and push them toward a wall for a monumental kiss to be reversed into that same wall is mind blowing to me. TO never know the outcome because both people are scheming (so to say) the next move.
Body Temperature: This is going to sound weird, but I run hot. I always have. I literally have a fan at the foot of my bed for my feet sometimes. So finding someone who I can lay next to and not be uncomfortable because of our temperatures is important. Not a deal breaker but an added bonus.
Voice: I never thought someones voice could be so important, but the sound of someone is extremely important. Being able to love to hear the person you are with is great. It is amazing when you meet someone you love to hear. You don’t even realize until you meet them, because it isn’t something I would consider a “first impression” kind of thing. It just soothes the soul so to say.
Body type in relation to mine: I don’t really have a set body type, height, or preference except for the fact that when I hold someone I want to feel as though I can hold them close. I want to feel their arm pull my arm close as we spoon and our bodies matching up in the right curves. I put a specific amount of energy into taking care of my body so I often look for someone who does so as well. While it is nice to meet those with fast metabolisms, I want someone that will be an inspiration to me and me to them when we get older. I want us to be able to push each other to stay fit, strong, and virile when our bodies begin to break down. I don’t want to be that old guy who sits all the time, I want to be the one who takes trips to exotic islands and makes the young people go “whoa I wanna be like that when I get older”.
Socially Adept: I want someone who has the ability to compliment my outward personality. When we go to an event I want to be able to branch off from each other and not have to worry. I also want us to work well as a whole when interacting. Complementing one anothers statements and sentences, making for an interesting conversation.
Phone Calls: If you get anxiety using a phone to call someone rather than text, it may be a deal breaker. Now if you call me instead of text, you have secretly made me smile from cheek to cheek.
Forward Thinking: I apply this to the idea of one day perhaps having a child. I want my wife to be someone who wants to raise a child in an environment where the kid is open with the parents. Feels safe with the parents. Maybe doesn’t want to go to the movies every friday night with us, but during breakfast can tell us if their life is OK and can call us when to drunk to drive at some party. I always think of the parents in the modern adaptation of The Scarlet Letter called “Easy A”.
Calm but not passive: My life growing up was hectic. My parents were masters at making mountains out of mole hills. I want someone who understands what is important and what is not. What is OK when it goes wrong and when it is actually time to freak out.
Balances Work and Life: I love working, I love passion, I love drive, but I also know that majority of the work we do is filler until we die. Morbid eh? But I believe that putting more emphasis on relationships and the people around you is more important than the work till you drop attitude. We only get one shot at this, so I want to be able to love hard and work hard all at once. Finding the balance between what you love and who you love is important.
Looking good together: Nothing feeds my Leo ego more than when I am with my significant other and someone says, “You two look so cute together” or “Where are you two from?” This means we probably have a matching sense of style, give off a good aura, and look good together. I absolutely love that. Plus anytime someone asks me where I am from as if I am not from the US, I take that as a compliment considering I think European culture and style is far more eloquent.
Cultured: I spent a lot of my life abroad and have adjusted my ways to many of the things I found interesting and more befitting of my lifestyle. I don’t go crazy when I see boobs, I don’t objectify women, I don’t use words like rape, gay, and fag. I want someone who is equally cultured. Who doesn’t HAVE to travel all the time, but enjoys it knowing they can get the same “cultural” feel with the person they are with and how they adjust their own lifestyle. It isn’t where we live, but how we live.
Running to Jump Together: I want to feel like Mr. and Mrs. Smith with my significant other. Each with their own specialties, but both extremely competent at survival and basic instinct skills. I want to trust that I can jump into traffic with my significant other and come out unscathed without having to endanger myself by worrying about them. The ability to adapt to multiple situations that didn’t always have an app to solve it or a service to complete it. Mind you I don’t mind using those after trying once, but at least give it a shot.
These are just a few things I have seen that I like to be lined up. Do I need them all, NOPE, do I like them, yup. Might they change in a day, sure. Do I have a mold, no. Do I hold people to ridiculous standards, not really. All in all I expect someone I am going to love and allow into my life so intimately to be someone who I can say puts into life the same effort that I do. The rest is just frosting on the cake. Because it really sucks when you feel as though you are approaching life so differently than the person you are with that it almost hinders growth. It is the difference between traveling with someone and traveling on someone.