See I love to observe people. I totally understand what it means when you say you want to talk with someone rather than talk about them. I feel like that is becoming a lost art these days, talking “With” someone. BUT TRULY talking with them. Not surface passing conversation but being ok with talking about good and bad on any day at any given moment. Your picture where you wrote, “Not every photo here needs to be flattering.” is a perfect example of something I find to be an attractive quality in people. When we are OK showing ourselves in what would be considered “vulnerable” but in reality is our natural state of being. It takes strength to be able to do that I think with the pressures of the world telling you otherwise. God I love to just sit and talk with someone. It is relaxing and really is the crux of what we can do in the little time we have here. Explore one another. Sure we can make millions or become famous, but it doesn’t last, unless we are curing diseases or elongating life, talking is the only other thing that seems to make sense. 🙂 

That being said, I think where I would fail at what you enjoy is that I get frustrated when I observe and talk to people and see that outsider perspective of what can be done to correct, resolve, fix, ease, or whatever to make a situation better for that person, but job wise I would have to not interject my own shit on them too much, especially because it is my life not theirs and it may not meld. I often have heard people say I am good at holding open two doors, one to let the person get out of their shit, and the second to let them pass to where they need to go on their own now. I would have a client for 3 weeks then I would have to drop them so they could use what I gave them to work on themselves haha. Not good for repeat business. 

This is shitty in terms of relationships because I often find myself stuck in the hallway haha. 

But in terms of who I am, I don’t have a choice, I see people’s eyes or hear the inflection in their voice, or watch their body language as they talk. It is literally built into my DNA, and I will pre-meditate the 1000 different possibilities that can be going on in their head. Be it for better or worse I do it. I know I do it and I have found love in people where I do it too much and I have found love where I don’t have to do it at all. Someone who can get me to be comfortable with their mind, puts mine at ease, not needing to constantly be on my toes and being able to trip and fall on my own words knowing they will understand if I need to change a sentence here and there. 

I also have recognized my need to fix and I now let people work their shit out on their own and respect that boundary much better for my own well being really. I cannot be a fixer, I need to find someone who has similar cracks as me so we can work together as a team versus one person who has the hammer and the other is a nail. There is only so much pressure you can put on yourself regardless of if you see the possible answer or not. 

Let me say though, I think the positive side of observing the way I do, is the ability to really form an unspoken connection with others. To really feel another and have a connection versus, a “white picket fence” connection. Going through the motions because that is the way it is supposed to be, decided upon by other people who don’t know the way it should be either.